Breaching the WALL

It's just a fairy tale, and has no connection to the real world. It's an expression of feeling, which I hope will come out true someday................

This probably 1 of the very few occasion, where I have preceded heart
over logic. And what follows down is an expression of an individual
who now feel his wall has been breached for the first time in his
life. Well here it goes......................

you know what they say..."if god has brought you to this...he will
take you through it"

I have tried real hard to pick lessons by observing. And its been
my attempt to live by them...and may be improvise on...So , I build
virtual walls, barricades about me hoping that NOTHING/NOBODY can ever
penetrate them. I am being impervious to any emotion, feeling or fear.
I know I cant get hurt, and it will require stupendous amount of work
to really TOUCH me. Guess I am playing the stakes of life at a lower
risk. And why shouldn't I????? I am not in business here. I have a
life to be well lived , every moment to be cherished, every dream to
be realized....to laugh every laughter to its fullest...to give every
breath its due....to love myself.

I had always scoffed at romance/love. In my opinion love was dumb. I
would not entrust my heart to another. I refused to get myself
betrayed. I was just too tough for love. Who has the time for an
eluding love anyway???its just an abstract mystery....and i had no
inclination in solving it....much less think of it.

I have seen people walk out of each others live's. And most times
they are not walking away empty handed. They take away with them a
huge chunk of each other. resulting in a colossal hollow. This hollow
WILL surely be filled by time. Slow...but not necessarily
steady.History proves this to be predominant almost like an epidemic.
Why the hell then any sane person would ever want to get inflicted and
smitten??????? dosent it only seem wise and intelligent to stay out of
any relationship????? why get diseased???

I was immensely sane. Life got a little mathematical. Perfectly
fine...no hassles. I never swayed. I made sure every part of my heart
remained sealed inside. I was steady .I was happy.I was everything I
wanted to be.

But just as you think you have seen it all...there comes a new
surprise - trick or treat.I dont know what happened next, probably
anesthetized. There is some new virus in me. Someone breached my
security. Whatever happened to my barricades?????The wall???? How
could anyone possibly walk through it all...and touch me????? All my
dearest and most precious ideas/opinions started to fall apart. I
fought in vain to put it all back together. I started questioning my
own mores...i had held them so dear. I see them all slipping away.I
see myself falling.

I gladly gave away from the deepest parts of my heart. There i was
setting myself up to another. Deep down there was a mild resistance
trying to surface....but it waned. Someone had now settled down in my
forbidden territory. It seemingly defied all the rules and laws I had
ever known.

I got introduced to true caring, sharing and unselfishness( remember
the night you felt bad at my outright boldness, truth pained me hard
the entire night). YOU have entered my life and turned everything
upside down. Love IS still a mystery but then i started to
investigate...I'm STILL looking for well defined solutions.

Life is not mathematical anymore. And it seems a harder nut to crack
with such imposing feeling never encountered before.

Love just happens, it waits for unprepared MIND, to get there HEARTS CLOSER.

Well scientist speaks the language of logic and reasoning, but here
human is speaking the language of heart. Sometime you have no idea
which is right, though I still feel logic defy everything I believed
and stood for, hoping my wall were impregnable.

But now I stand amidst the ruins of my belief and ego, with the
thought MANU'S DOMAIN has been infiltrated by you.............................................